I would never...

Twelve things I would never in a million years do-

1- I would never do this list.
2- I would never have sex with your dog.
3- I would never shake hands with your father.
4- I would never wear a fur skirt to the opera.
5- I would never vacation in Minot, North Dakota
6- I would never boil a pigs head in chocolate.
7- I would never touch the tit of an 80 year old woman.
8- I would never eat your heart.
9- I would never kick a fire hydrant.
10-I would never swim to Catalina Island for the fuck of it.
11-I would never perform oral surgery on myself.
12-I would never hit a young girl in a wheelchair with a hammer.

I often try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

I try to allow the idea of another perspective. It is important that there may be conditions, unseen circumstances, or extra information that I was not privy to. Once when I was driving to the flower market downtown, it was about 4 am and a black transvestite was lying, bleeding about the face, in the middle of the street screaming, “Help me, I need help!! HELP ME GODDAMMIT!!!"
-I immediately thought that maybe she had deserved this. Or, she was perhaps yelling to someone in a car parked along the street and maybe they were napping or were deaf. Maybe she was shooting a student film. Maybe she was part of a TV prank show. Maybe she was not hurt but was doing some downtown performance art piece that was experimental and a protest, commenting on the societal ills that have befallen the befallen. Maybe she did get beat up by her John or her pimp and had been sexually assaulted beyond comprehension, left for dead. How was I to know?

One time I saw a 5 year old little boy in a mall all alone, crying. Maybe he didn’t get the toy he wanted?