That is so me!

In my morning meditation this morning that I have yet to do, I was right there...right at that place. I was able to quiet my mind once and for all. I had another awakening.

The meditation topped other epic meditations because it hit me like a golden arrow, it pierced my conscious mind so hard I tipped over backwards and lay on my back for nearly 3 days…in pure peace, awake, with the universe fully realized in my smile.
I finally got up and dialed my girlfriend in France. She was on her way to work, at the Perrache stop in Lyon. She was not ready for what I wanted to tell her. She was late and had just bitten the inside of her cheek. I asked her if she was still going to the south for holiday, she said yes. I tried not to worry but could feel it rising in me. I reminded her that I didn’t have a new suit, but was planning on buying one upon arrival. She hung up on me.

I got up, opened a drawer and looked over the array of weapons and grabbed the Bilier, a small axe. “This should do it,” I said to myself catching a glimpse of my forehead and the fresh scar in the mirror.

As a relentless seeker of beauty and death, I made my gratitude list and jumped into my Humvee, sped down rural route 28 counting the gobs of money in the sack. “Fuck! I do not have a good feeling about this exercise!!” I screamed as I put in my iPod. I selected a new podcast of John Kenneth Galbraith reading Philip Roth’s, When She Was Good. Galbraith read a ton of shit, it’s how he really made his money. My favorite is JKG reading The Rosie Greer Story. It is wrong in every aspect and yet electrifying slow, perfect.

She called my cell.

I listened.

She was unhappy about everything.

Focusing on the road, I remembered that I was a liar, living the perfect life; 2 young children, a wife, a motorcycle that will go 160 miles an hour, I no longer have a tattoo that spreads across my stomach saying V Thirteen, a 1964 Eldorado convertible, and a will that is my own…it now belongs to the universe.